Finally a post....but not a great one

It has been more than three months since my last post. Why do I feel like I'm in a Catholic Church confessional? A lot has happened and not much has happened, all at the same time. Much of it has been a blur and the days are running together. This won't be a feel good post and thankfully I don't have many readers...it's just time for some purging.
Eric has been working for a Kent company for a few months now. He drives to and from downtown Seattle five days a week. His car is on it's last leg and he has no traveling compensation. He is making several dollars less an hour than he usually does and the gas is killing us. He went to Wenatchee a few weeks ago to talk to a company there about a job but heard yesterday that it won't work out. They are looking for someone to live there so they can be on call for after hours and weekend emergencies. So...there goes that. I have tried, over the past few years, to not get my hopes up for things but it's hard to not hope for something that would be better for the family. Although Wenatchee is certainly not ideal he would be able to stay with his mom (or my dad or brother for that matter) and the girls and I could visit often over the summer. He would have gotten more $$ and not had the commuting costs. I was really disappointed, as I know he was, when he found out. The situation now is not sustainable and we are charging and getting deeper and deeper into debt. I feel we are back at square one now. I am thankful for his job, it is much better than nothing for sure. It's hard on us all and he is so tired though. He gets up at 3:00 a.m. and doesn't get home until 7:00 ish. He doesn't even have the option to work 4 ten hour days at this job which would, at least, give him an extra day of rest and time with the kids not to mention cut down on one commuting day. Enough of that. Oh, one last thing...the reason we aren't considering moving to Wenatchee for that job is because it is like all the rest...they just have "some" work. It wouldn't guarantee long term employment so it wouldn't make sense.
What has been the hardest part of the last several months is that I'm just not feeling well/myself. In fact, I haven't really felt myself since the tonsillectomy in November. I'm extremely tired with a lack of motivation and just a general sense of feeling down. I have resorted to medications that I never thought I would take and they are making me SO tired that I have no energy for anything. I don't even have motivation to sit at my desk and do the things I normally wasted so much time doing because I enjoyed them like blogging, maintaining some semblance of a family schedule, keeping up on my emails, etc. Those things require nearly no energy and I still can't manage them. I have cut my medication back in hopes that will help, we'll see. Exercise would be the key if I could find the motivation to do it. I walked to The Woods a couple of days ago and felt so much better the rest of the day but I can't seem to do that most days and after I did I had joint pain, in fact I still have it. I'm too fat and not exercising. I know I must do something soon or this turns nowhere but worse.
Madison is almost done with school and Kennedy finished last week. All of my friends are planning trips to Disneyland and Hawaii or long camping trips with family and we have NO.PLANS.AT.ALL. The prospect of Wenatchee at least gave us some hope of camping over there but with Eric's ridiculous schedule we couldn't even go away for a weekend. I know I am feeling sorry for myself and I hate, absolutely hate, when I do that because I know how much we have compared with so, so many others but sometimes it's just hard to have so much against you for, what seems like, SO long. Something has got to give somewhere...soon.
Sorry for the negative post...I promise the next one will be happier. I'll try to get some photos loaded today.