We got some bad news yesterday. Eric and I were both really hoping he could get a job with the company he worked for prior to this last job, the one he was with for nearly 10 years. Neither of us spoke too much about it but it was that one hope that was really the only good option for him. I don't think we wanted to jinx anything or get our hopes up (out loud at least). Well, that hope vanished yesterday after a phone call and now we are feeling the stress in a new way. There are very few companies that do this work and he has exhausted the possibilities close to home. The options that are left to us don't excite me to say the least. One option is to have Eric take a job out of town and be gone all the time. Another option is to pack up and move somewhere where he can get work. A third option is to try and live on the unemployment, a part time job for me and send Eric back to school to learn something new (it's possible he could get that paid for since he is unable to find a job in his line of work) that will probably end up paying less anyway but it will give him more options and the fourth option is to have him take a lesser paying job and for me to also work evenings/weekends to make up the difference. I've racked my brain but these are the only options I can come up with (if anyone reading this has any other ideas I would love to hear them). I try not to think too hard about us having to move because it really breaks my heart. I love this part of the country and I truly don't want to leave. I also love our home, our backyard, our friends and all the wonderful things there are to do here. Madison loves preschool and her teachers and I know Kennedy will too so having to start all over with things just doesn't feel right but I know we will have to do what we need to.
Until yesterday I did a pretty good job of staying positive (I think) but now I'm really feeling the pressure. I truly believe if there is a way to stay here we need to try and do that. I think I would feel really lost somewhere new where I didn't know anybody and my kids didn't have any friends.
I am trying to look at this with some optimism no matter how difficult it has become. This might be a great chance for Eric to learn a new trade and for me to go back to work part time. Although I'm not excited about it (probably due to nerves since I haven't worked in more than 5 years) maybe it's what I need. Maybe I would feel better to get away from home a little and back into the adult world. Thinking of the time away from the kids makes me sad but maybe I would be a better mommy with a little time away so we can get an actual chance to miss each other. I don't know, part of this is how I really feel and the other part is me trying to convince myself this is how I really feel. I'm not sure I can tell the difference.
I am taking a phlebotomy class the week after I return from my mom's. I am kind of looking forward to it and hope the sight of blood doesn't bother me. It doesn't tend to but I've never done that sort of thing before so we'll see. Eric will be starting school that week too for some review so I may be asking for some babysitting for that week. I'll have to wait and see if he gets in/when his classes are, etc. I'm not sure what will happen with my plans to do the Rad. Tech. program but hopefully I will still be able to. I don't do well with all of these up in the air decisions and no structure to our days so hopefully some things will get decided and we can have a set plan soon.
Well, this is a bit personal for what I normally blog but thankfully only a handful of people even read my blog : )
Oh, I've made a commitment to getting away one night a week for a break. I've been going to Boulevard Park in B'ham for a walk followed by a coffee at The Woods that sits right on B'ham Bay. It's been just what I have needed and I intend to keep doing that or something similar so if anyone ever wants to join me let me know. Next week my night out will be the MOMS Club party and the following week I will be at my moms so this will be a regular event starting the week of June 29th. Although I don't always feel energized enough to go I am so glad once I am there.
Well, that's enough for now. Hope everyone is doing well. I hope I didn't sound too depressing, I am thankful for so much and feel the past six months were a true blessing. We really should have been in this boat six months ago but he got lucky, got that job and allowed us the time to save some money and for him to draw unemployment. We have several options and we will get by and maybe even be better and stronger when this is all over. It's hard to appreciate things when things haven't been hard so I am trying to be thankful for whatever is in store for us. Bring it on!
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