Losing Motivation

I've officially lost steam for my class. After Wednesdays test I have been finding it very difficult to concentrate on studying and I have a big exam on Monday. I have been working so hard and I think I'm burning myself out a bit. That is no excuse and I've got to buck up but it's getting increasingly more difficult. I'm tired and the tests just keep coming. I am doing really well but I don't expect that I can keep the same momentum until the end. I think the guilt of being away from the girls so much is a lot of my problem. I just can't study at home for obvious reasons. I am also pretty worried about the H1N1 virus so I'm choosing to leave the house to study instead of send Eric and the girls out.

Speaking of H1N1 I think I have finally decided to try and get the vaccine for the girls (at least Kennedy if they don't let the older kids get it). I just can't justify not trying to keep them healthy because of something that may or may not be harmful to them years from now. I keep hearing some pretty scary stories from people I know who work at Peacehealth and I'm feeling a little selfish for not trying to keep everyone away from this dreadful virus. Having said all of this I may change my mind again tomorrow, as usual I can't seem to make my mind up on anything these days.

Eric has a job interview next Thursday. This is great news but........it's in Kent. If he gets the job it is going to be extremely hard to adjust to this commute every day all week. Gas is cheaper than a motel so he will be making the drive back and forth every day. The company is based in Kent but it's quite possible the jobs are even further south than that. He doesn't know many details yet but should find out the specifics on Thursday. We are both thankful and hoping he gets it but will need to make some serious adjustments and I'll need to make some arrangements so I don't have to drop my class. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself though, we'll see what happens but it's hopeful as it's with a fire sprinkler company which is what he does and has done for over a decade.

I managed a couple of hours of studying today and went to The Woods on Railroad. I didn't know it was there but a friend told me about it since The Woods at Boulevard was too crowded. I wasn't planning to go that far but had to run an errand to Trader Joe's and the downtown Co-op. Needless to say I got my share of Patchouli scent and dreadlock looking today. I love living in B'ham and seeing all the different kinds of people that live here. I find it fascinating to sit and watch them. These places probably are not the best venues for me to be studying since I do find people watching so fascinating but it's hard to resist. I came home today and told Eric how I wish I were 20 again. I saw so many students today who were young and so full of energy. I sometimes wish I had done things differently but if that would mean not having the life and family I have now I wouldn't change one moment. I am truly blessed with a beautiful family, good friends and I think I live in the most beautiful place in this country. Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky.