Dx: Anxiety.....maybe???

For the past three night I have woken up between 4-6 a.m. with my heart pounding, feeling jittery and unable to fall back asleep. The first morning I didn't think much of it. Yesterday morning I started wondering what was wrong. I wondered if it had something to do with not eating enough calories. I wondered if it had something to do with the blood loss. But...I still didn't think too much of it until it happened again this morning. I woke at 5:00 and just could NOT fall back asleep. I felt very anxious and started wondering if something more was going on. I called and scheduled an appointment to see the nurse practitioner.

Of all the things I was thinking I would hear "anxiety" wasn't one of them. I'm not sure why I wasn't expecting it because it makes sense. If ever I had anxiety it has been since the ER episode. In my mind I have several numbers in my mind that represent milestones for me feeling like the healing process is something I can count on. I had to get through the first 7-10 days which ended yesterday. Now I have to get through Wednesday night for it to be 7-10 days after the cauterization. Then I will need to get through the 2 week mark, then the 3 week mark and by week 4 I will feel that I am out of the woods. It might all sound silly and that is okay, it's helping me by making the markers less out of reach.

There was talk of a holter monitor and another EKG (had one at ER already) but she wanted to do an experiment and give me an anti-anxiety medication to have ready by the bed to try in the morning if/when it happens again. I am not keen on the idea of taking Xanax but it will tell us if this problem is physiological or psychological. If the Xanax calms me AND my heart stops racing it's most likely anxiety. If it calms me but my heart is still racing it's a cardiac issue.

What I am hoping is that I now have some perspective on it, that it seems anxiety is likely and that I can just calm down and not have another episode in the morning. This is my hope. If that is the case I can save the Xanax pills for the next time I fly : ( ACKKKK!!!!