Lesson Learned....although I'm not sure which one.

Something very disturbing happened to me today. The girls and I were in the car at a stop light and there was a woman on the corner holding a sign that read "Need Gas 2 Get Home". We were a ways back from her at a red light and on the inside lane but Madison spotted her right away and asked about her. Madison is very interested in people on the street holding signs, we talk about them each time we see them. She understands they need help of some kind, that many don't have a home or food to eat. She has seen me give them money on occasion and today she asked if we could give this woman some money. I know there are a lot of reasons to not give people on the street money, I understand many of them are not buying gas or food with it. I am skeptical, just as anyone would be, but this woman was in her middle ages, a bit of grey hair and quite "normal" looking. She looked as if she was just having a hard time and needed some help. I know some people use the money for drugs or alcohol but I will say with as much certainty as I have that if someone wants alcohol or drugs bad enough they are not going to go without it because they aren't getting money from passersby. I doubt anyone ever quit doing drugs because they didn't get enough money on the street. There are ways to steal, cheat and exploit yourself for anything you want badly enough. I don't willingly support alcohol and drug habits but who is to say what someone is going to do with the money? There are people without homes, without food, without supporting and loving families to help them and who just need someone to help them. I would rather risk giving someone a few bucks who was going to buy a fifth of whiskey in order to help someone else who just needs a little helping hand to get through the night. Who is to say I wouldn't turn into a raging alcoholic if I was faced with the unthinkable. Nobody chooses to be homeless. Okay, I'm done defending why I sometimes give people on the street money.....back to what happened today.
We were not in the lane near the woman on the street so I had to turn when my light turned green and turn around in order to get back into the lane that would be near her. All the while I was talking to Madison about her and she really wanted to help her. I did explain that we didn't always know what the people were going to do with the money and that some did bad things with the money sometimes. I told her we had to be careful and that we couldn't give money to everyone we saw but she felt compelled, as did I, to help this woman. So, as we came up to the woman and I pulled over slightly with my money in hand there were two Asian girls walking to the stop light right near her. There was a young mom and her adolescent child. The woman holding the sign started yelling at these two girls making horrible racial comments. I was mortified. The woman was too busy yelling at these girls to see my offering of help because she was so busy being a horrible nasty person. It was rather ironic to me. She was saying something about the only reason they were in this country was because of our (American) blood, etc. I drove away and watched my rear view mirror to make sure the women crossed the street quickly and got away from her. This whole thing really upset me and definitely presented a teachable moment for Madison. We talked more about the fact that the woman was saying really awful things to those girls and that she probably was going to use the money for something other than what she said. I don't know what the woman wanted the money for, maybe she really did need help but I guess I'm not a big enough person to help someone like that despite the fact that she may have needed it. I struggled with what to tell Madison. What was the lesson here? Was it to never help someone on the street? Was it to be cautious of who you help (although I'm not sure exactly how to do that)? Was it to not help people just because they are ignorant? This woman was clearly ignorant but does that mean she didn't need help? Maybe she needed help more than someone else because of that fact? Maybe she needed someone to reach out to her. I just don't know. I get really upset when I see people saying hateful things to each other and I just knew my money was best spent elsewhere today. So, I drove to Hammerhead Coffee and bought an organic, fair trade coffee that I knew was helping organic farmers in another country earn a fair wage and who were being treated better than the two girls on that street corner.